30 Ways to Identify a Hockey Parent

30. You have more miles on your '02 minivan than a '66 Chevy.

29. You have had to use a grandparent to take kid #1 to a tournament because Dad was in a different state with kid #2 at a tournament and Mom had kid #3 two states away in a 3rd tournament all in one weekend.

28. You know every single kid on every single team your child has ever played on; but don't have a clue as to who his school mates are.

27. You ground your kids for a week (except from hockey practice).

26. You chuckle when a co-worker says his kids play soccer.

25. You take out a home loan to pay for all the equipment and expenses.

24. You complain about ice time when only 10 skaters showed up to that game.

23. You plan birth of next child so he has a good hockey birthday

22. You shout "Watch this, watch this" every time Junior touches the puck in practice.

21. Your new baby's first word is Zamboni.

20. You need new personalized license plates (again) since child changed teams.

19. The volume of hockey related e-mail at work exceeds business related e-mail during the off season.

18. You use the term "illegal recruiting" in a post discussing 96s.

17. All your computer passwords begin with "hockey" or contain your child's number.

16. You have been barred from more than one rink on more than one occasion.

15. All photos of family vacations have a Canadian flag in the background!

14. You keep stats at practice!

13. You can rationalize spending $159 on a Synergy for a 9 year old but won't spend $5 on a birthday card for your wife.

12. You have more Hockey Mom T-shirts and sweatshirts than shoes.

11. You hate sending Christmas cards, because the stats only show half the season!

10. You had to explain that the pilgrims didn't play hockey, and thanksgiving is actually a holiday, not just a tournament!

9. You purchase new $135.00 stick because old one didn't have any goals left in it.

8. You can’t compose a sentence, or have a conversation, that doesn’t use at least one of the following words: “elite,” “select,” “AAA,” “Nationals,” “premier,” or “tryouts.”

7. You think a ’93 Merlot Select is a new NJ hockey team, and want to know when tryouts are

6. You know a few 5 year olds that are good but “lack focus.”

5. You have had kids ask if Christmas is “home or away.”

4. You want to try for another, so you can start younger!

3. When asked to decide between tryouts and first communion – you asked the church what your options were.

2. You received a letter from AAA Automobile Club and called for more info about tryouts.

1. When someone asks how old your children are, you respond “I have a 93 and a 90.”